Reflections for Christmas with our new and improved family

 We have hardships that make it difficult to carry out our original plans or causes us to change direction.  Joseph and Mary remind us of this.  They had some bumps in their plans as Mary became pregnant and Joseph had to make a decision whether he would support her, even though the baby wasn't his or to leave her and publicly humiliate her.  It was not what he planned.  But he followed the hard path and he and Mary got married.  Then, they needed to travel to Bethlehem.  That would have been long, extremely tedious, especially when the roads were what they were back then, and with a pregnant woman by his side.  Oh, how they would have loved to have had a comfortable place to lay their head after their travels, but they could not secure this for the night.  It was not in their plans to have their son, God's son, in a barn.  A barn!!!

No, none of the plans were what they felt they should be.  It was not easy.  They had to make decisions and change their plans.  However, look at the outcome from all this - Jesus.  The real Reason for the Season.  Joseph and Mary knew he would arrive and that all their hardships and the things they endured would "pay"off.  So they trudge through and tried to stay positive.

It is how we need to be. We need to  put into perspective exactly what is important.  I learned that you have to fight for things that you hold dear and that it is not always an easy task.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And sometimes, it means that things have to change for awhile and that you have to endure hardships, but the outcome is bigger and better than before.

For example, over a rough number of months of separation, Chad and I worked tirelessly on making our marriage work.  We didn't make promises to each other over 12 years ago to walk away.  Sure, there are times when this is inevitable.  But we weren't convinced this was the path for us.  To make sure that we were going down the right path, we put God in the forefront.  He was always there, but we propped him up even more.  We made sure we went to church every Sunday and shared in a few meals here and there as a family, despite the way we may have been feeling towards each other at the time.

In the Spring, we attended Retrouvaille.  What an intense, draining, but SO worthwhile venture.  It really helped for us to open doors and begin to heal as a couple.  It was the stepping stone for putting a seemingly broken marriage back together.

Just after our weekend, we began going weekly to a "Fireproof" study at a couple's house from our church.  It was incredible.  We felt like we could be open and honest with the others present.  We could bounce ideas and thoughts with ease and this lead to many deep conversations later between the two of us. This was more than just the next step.  It provided us with more meat to chew on and bolted us forward to the commitment to reunite and begin anew.

While we were apart for those months, there were times things were maddening and frustrating.  But once we began to heal, thanks to strategies from Retrouvaille and strengthening through Fireproof, we were like a brand new couple rediscovering our likes and dislikes all over again.  That was really exciting.

In September, we renewed our vows. The kids and us (minus our greyt pal, Spencer) headed for Bermuda.There was more anticipation for this event than when we said vows the first time around to each other.    We had a gorgeous place right on the south shore (thanks to amazing friends.)  It was our private getaway.  And the four of us - and God - celebrated the reunion.  It was a blessing, the entire trip, bumps and all.

This year, we saw through the tragedy, and the hurt.  We chose to work through it all and to give it all we had.  We couldn't let 20 years of friendship and 12 years of marriage slip away.  Now, we are more connected and alive in one another than ever before.

Then there is Spencer.  He has also brought this family together with a common goal... to please his majesty.  We have been so enjoying (most of the time) the antics of our new family member and the ability to share our love with him.

We feel like a new family.  We have been given a new start - dog and all- for the next amazing chapter of our life.  We are truly blessed and we are granted grace, all made possible by the One and only.   Our family would not be as it is if it weren't for the strength and love of Him, through Christ.

So as we prepare our home and our hearts this Christmas season, we reflect on the goodness of God.  His gifts to us are endless and we humbly stand before Him.  The most important gift, was His Son.  Christ was not born into earthly royalty.  He was born like many of us - into a working class home.  He didn't have all the luxuries nor did he have the wealth.  Yet, Christ was focused here on earth and lived a flawless, bountiful and grace-filled life, showing compassion and reverence where ever it was due.  And ultimately, He died for our sins.  He bore our pain, guilt and shame.  Can you imagine a parent allowing their child to be tortured, ridiculed and raised on a cross like a common thief?  Would you do that?  Would you sacrifice your son or daughter if it meant that others would be free and could have a relationship with you because of this death?

Again, what a gift this season is and it was given to us at a high cost.