Words.

Words.  

Do I have your attention yet?  Read on...


According to dictionary.com, the definition of words includes the following:

1."a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning."  
2. "contentious or angry speech; a quarrel."
3. "a short talk or conversation."
4. "warrant, assurance, or promise"
5. "news; tidings; information"


Synonyms to words are:
 statement, declaration,  pledge,  message, report, account, 
catchword


Words hold much power.  They can build up. 
Or....  They can tear down.  


It always amazes me the ways in which we use our words to do both.  And often the latter happens without realizing that our words hurt or destroy.  So I have to remind myself to monitor and chose my words wisely.  The words I chose should be ones that "build up" and enhance the days of my children and my friends.  I want them to be blessed and/or guided by my words.  


When my Papa passed away in ' 97, I stood in the long receiving line after his memorial service.  I must have shook hands and spoke with close to 300 people.  All these individuals had such kind things to say about my Papa, not only about the man he was but about the words he said to them.  His choice of words had such an impact on those around him. I recall one man telling me that my Papa made him feel like he was worth something.  Papa didn't pass him off just because he was using the soup kitchen, but rather made him feel like a human; someone of importance.   He told me that my Papa would sit and talk to him. Papa encouraged him.  The man continued to say that when my Papa was in the room, my Papa would step back into the shadows and make people shine.  


And that's what Papa did.  Often.  My Papa, with his choice of words, would provide those around him with encouragement, respect, support and friendship.  [Isn't that a  true practitioner of the faith, as well?]  


Now, think back to when someone has said something positive or encouraging to you.  How did you feel?  What was your reaction?  Did you share or extend those kind words to someone else?


That is my experience.  The more you give away your positive, encouraging and supportive words, the more words from others are carried on in the same light and spirit.  I am always striving to keep this at the forefront of my mind and on my tongue.


However, honestly, like everyone else, I am humbled every so often when my choice is not that of positive words and the effects are the opposite. Hurt feelings and undue stress are put on relationships.  


As a teacher, a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend and a neighbour, I need to be an example (just like my Papa.)  I don't have to be perfect, but it is necessary to then use my words (along with actions) to heal the hurt that I unduly caused.  Not only is this a humbling and important act, but it is an example how to correct myself, the situation and to get back on track.  


Sometimes, those hurtful words are directed at you.  How do you respond?  How do those words make you feel?  What words to you give back? 


Its a never-ending game.  But we are reminded in Proverbs 16, of the power and effects of our words, and why we need to chose them wisely. 

Proverbs 16:21

²¹Good judgment proves

   that you are wise,

   and if you speak kindly,

   you can teach others. (CEV)

Proverbs 16:23, 24

²³You can persuade others

   if you are wise

   and speak sensibly.

    ²⁴Kind words are like honey--

   they cheer you up

   and make you feel strong.(CEV)

Proverbs 16:27

²⁷Worthless people plan trouble.

   Even their words burn

   like a flaming fire.(CEV)

(PS. I chose the Contemporary English Version for the verses as I think it spells out the point clearly)


What kind of words will you chose today?

Reflections for Christmas with our new and improved family

 We have hardships that make it difficult to carry out our original plans or causes us to change direction.  Joseph and Mary remind us of this.  They had some bumps in their plans as Mary became pregnant and Joseph had to make a decision whether he would support her, even though the baby wasn't his or to leave her and publicly humiliate her.  It was not what he planned.  But he followed the hard path and he and Mary got married.  Then, they needed to travel to Bethlehem.  That would have been long, extremely tedious, especially when the roads were what they were back then, and with a pregnant woman by his side.  Oh, how they would have loved to have had a comfortable place to lay their head after their travels, but they could not secure this for the night.  It was not in their plans to have their son, God's son, in a barn.  A barn!!!

No, none of the plans were what they felt they should be.  It was not easy.  They had to make decisions and change their plans.  However, look at the outcome from all this - Jesus.  The real Reason for the Season.  Joseph and Mary knew he would arrive and that all their hardships and the things they endured would "pay"off.  So they trudge through and tried to stay positive.

It is how we need to be. We need to  put into perspective exactly what is important.  I learned that you have to fight for things that you hold dear and that it is not always an easy task.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And sometimes, it means that things have to change for awhile and that you have to endure hardships, but the outcome is bigger and better than before.

For example, over a rough number of months of separation, Chad and I worked tirelessly on making our marriage work.  We didn't make promises to each other over 12 years ago to walk away.  Sure, there are times when this is inevitable.  But we weren't convinced this was the path for us.  To make sure that we were going down the right path, we put God in the forefront.  He was always there, but we propped him up even more.  We made sure we went to church every Sunday and shared in a few meals here and there as a family, despite the way we may have been feeling towards each other at the time.

In the Spring, we attended Retrouvaille.  What an intense, draining, but SO worthwhile venture.  It really helped for us to open doors and begin to heal as a couple.  It was the stepping stone for putting a seemingly broken marriage back together.

Just after our weekend, we began going weekly to a "Fireproof" study at a couple's house from our church.  It was incredible.  We felt like we could be open and honest with the others present.  We could bounce ideas and thoughts with ease and this lead to many deep conversations later between the two of us. This was more than just the next step.  It provided us with more meat to chew on and bolted us forward to the commitment to reunite and begin anew.

While we were apart for those months, there were times things were maddening and frustrating.  But once we began to heal, thanks to strategies from Retrouvaille and strengthening through Fireproof, we were like a brand new couple rediscovering our likes and dislikes all over again.  That was really exciting.

In September, we renewed our vows. The kids and us (minus our greyt pal, Spencer) headed for Bermuda.There was more anticipation for this event than when we said vows the first time around to each other.    We had a gorgeous place right on the south shore (thanks to amazing friends.)  It was our private getaway.  And the four of us - and God - celebrated the reunion.  It was a blessing, the entire trip, bumps and all.

This year, we saw through the tragedy, and the hurt.  We chose to work through it all and to give it all we had.  We couldn't let 20 years of friendship and 12 years of marriage slip away.  Now, we are more connected and alive in one another than ever before.

Then there is Spencer.  He has also brought this family together with a common goal... to please his majesty.  We have been so enjoying (most of the time) the antics of our new family member and the ability to share our love with him.

We feel like a new family.  We have been given a new start - dog and all- for the next amazing chapter of our life.  We are truly blessed and we are granted grace, all made possible by the One and only.   Our family would not be as it is if it weren't for the strength and love of Him, through Christ.

So as we prepare our home and our hearts this Christmas season, we reflect on the goodness of God.  His gifts to us are endless and we humbly stand before Him.  The most important gift, was His Son.  Christ was not born into earthly royalty.  He was born like many of us - into a working class home.  He didn't have all the luxuries nor did he have the wealth.  Yet, Christ was focused here on earth and lived a flawless, bountiful and grace-filled life, showing compassion and reverence where ever it was due.  And ultimately, He died for our sins.  He bore our pain, guilt and shame.  Can you imagine a parent allowing their child to be tortured, ridiculed and raised on a cross like a common thief?  Would you do that?  Would you sacrifice your son or daughter if it meant that others would be free and could have a relationship with you because of this death?

Again, what a gift this season is and it was given to us at a high cost.